Jubilate – Michael Arditti

Untitled(Not discussed by the group but written in a personal capacity.)

Chaucer observed that pilgrimages bring together people with contrasting motivations and this is certainly true of the main characters in this novel. The charcter Vincent says that he did Chaucer for O’ level English, Actually, it’s on the A’ level syllabus.

And ‘healing’ isn’t necessarily physical.

‘Jubilate” = ‘be joyful’ yet here are the hopeless, the desperate, the bereaved and the sick. In this story, ‘Jubilate’ is the title for the 150th anniversary celebration of Lourdes.

Gillian is a Roman Catholic who takes her husband Richard, who is suffering from brain damage which has left him with the lewd behaviour of a teenager, along with his mother Patricia, a devotee of the Lourdes pilgrimage. Gillian doesn’t really have much faith in Lourdes and goes reluctantly and slightly standoffishly but is drawn into it by the stories of the other pilgrims.

Vincent is a Television producer making a programme about Lourdes with permission to follow this particular group of pilgrims around. He is an atheist and a cynic, with a Roman Catholic childhood behind him. As his story develops you discover that he is as wounded as the pilgrims around him.

It takes a teenager to point out the anti-semitism in the portrayal of the stations of the cross.

I loved the bit where Vincent tries to find a condom – in Lourdes.

The chapters are a bit too long for my taste.

In an interview with the author, he explained that 10 years ago he ate some unpasteurised goats’ cheese which set up an infection and destroyed two discs at the base of his spine.

“It thrust me into middle age,“because the first thing people see when they meet me is a stick. Thankfully I can write. And it may sound pious but there are people so much worse off. Being able to say, ‘Why not me?’ is one of the advantages of having faith.”

Yes, he always has had faith, although it may have wobbled a bit when he was in his 20s. He sees it as an enormous gift because “one is not afraid of so many things”.

He went on his first pilgrimage because of his disability – he wanted the strength to carry on. And he went because of his faith; you have to have faith when you think that in 150 years there have been only 67 accredited medical miracles

Arditti takes on board all the doubters: Vincent, his central character, is the voice of all non-believers when he asks why miracles are not visible – why, for instance, an amputee does not grow a new leg. “There are,” says Arditti, “all sorts of miracles.”

He is very aware of the showbiz aspect of Lourdes – the shops are part of the enormous commercial area – and there are apparently more hotels there than anywhere else in France other than Paris.

The area devoted to St Bernadette’s shrine is even more vast: “acres of Disneyfied churches and chapels, conference centres.”

How does a man of Arditti’s sensitivity find any sort of comfort there, enough to make him go back three times?

“What made it bearable for me was the people,” he explains. “Yes, there is an element of playing on people’s credulity, and I really do not like seeing comatose people on drips being wheeled in processions – but it is still inspirational.

“It has an aura of faith, hope, altruism, physical courage. The real miracle is that it gives people the strength to carry on – as it did for me.

“The generosity of the people who go to help – all volunteers, and a lot of them are very young – is remarkable.” http://www.westendextra.com/reviews/books/2011/jan/books-review-jubilate-michael-arditti

Quotations:

seri­ously, mate, it’s a very special place. Forget the Costa del Sol, this is the Costa del Hope

We edge through the milling crowds, down a narrow side street lined with cheap religious souvenir shops.

`Welcome to the town that taste forgot, I say.

The perfect place for Christmas shopping, Jamie says.

`Sure, if all your friends are nuns, Jewel says.

`I’ve never felt so Protestant in my life, Sophie says.

 

Answers: he replies with unnerving intensity ‘Why? Are ye going to give us some?’

`Answers to what?’

`People come to Lourdes cos they’re good people, right?’

`In the main, yes; I expect so, I reply, taken aback.

“Then God lets them die. Why?’ My studied silence forces him to expand. `This morning, we passed a pile-up on the autoroute. A coach full of Poles … Polish people._ It skidded across three lanes. straight into the opposite traffic. There was blood and guts ever where. You could see the bodies.

`No you couldn’t, Key.’ One of his friends interjects. ‘They we all covered up:

`Well you could see the stretchers, so you knew they were there

And there was this stink of burning flesh:

`Burning tyres, you dork!’

Kevin draws me aside. `But they weren’t ordinary Poles. It were pilgrims who’d been to Lourdes. Yesterday – maybe ti morning even – they were at mass. Some of them were sick. Some them were kids. Some of them were sick kids. Maybe some of thi had been cured. What’s the point of coming here then if God all that to happen? Tell me: what?’ I say nothing, signalling to Jam zoom in on Kevin’s tortured face, confident that it is far more eloquent than any doubts I might express.

Although the Church no longer emasculates its choristers, continues to infantilise its congregations. The thought depresses and I am grateful for the chance to bury it in the formality of Eucharistic prayers, but the respite is cut short when Father D announces the Peace. I am wrenched back to my childhood and dreaded moment each Sunday when I had to shake hands, first Father Damian, whose clammy palm contained the threat of so thing more intimate, and then with Douglas, my fellow altar boy weekly nemesis who, daring me not to squeal, turned the exchange into a Chinese burn.

the Cardinal moves into the congregation and raises the monstrance to bless each section in turn. I feel none of the unease that I felt about attending mass. This is Christ coming to me in pity for my weakness, not me .coming to him in defiance of my sin.

Patricia laughs immoderately at an account of three nuns in a priest’s life (`none yesterday, none today and tomorrow’), that she would have deplored from anyone else. a quip that the favourite hymn in a crematorium is ‘Light Up Fire, Oh Lord!’ falls flat. After a rare non-clerical joke (`horse is what stops horses betting on humans’)…

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The Life to Come and Other Stories – E. M. Forster

TLTCAOS 2(Not discussed by the group but written in a personal capacity.)

Many people know that he didn’t want Maurice published until after his death. Fewer, including me, knew that these stories existed and were left unpublished for the same reason. They were shown to an appreciative circle of friends and fellow writers, including Christopher Isherwood, Siegfried Sassoon, Lytton Strachey, and T. E. Lawrence, who considered one story “the most powerful thing I have ever read.” Forster described ‘The Life to Come’ as “violent and wholly unpublishable” It relates one poignant sexual encounter that takes place between a South American chieftain, Vithobai, “the wildest, strongest, most stubborn of all the inland chieftains” and the young priest with whom he falls in love, Paul Pinmay, who is in all ways, Vithobai’s inferior. In a single night their passion transforms into rejection.

The fourteen stories in this book span six decades—from 1903 to 1957 or even later—and represent every phase of Forster’s career as a writer. About a third of them deal with homosexuality.

The significance of these stories in relation to Forster’s famous abandonment of the novel is discussed by Oliver Stallybrass in his introduction. “[These stories] are often brilliant, aware both of the strictly contemporary…the contrast between Greek and Christian; between ‘Goth’ and Christian; between spontaneity and duty in matters sensual and instinctive. In short, they bring up all Forster’s usual preoccupations and at the same time orchestrate the new song and play it loud and clear.”

We get a character’s denial of love reveals the constricting effects of conventional society and leads to his physical, emotional, or spiritual death. In “The Life to Come,” a Christian missionary, who becomes a native’s lover for one night, denies his feelings for his lover who later stabs him to death before killing himself. In “Dr Woolacott” a dying patient refuses the aid of his doctor and chooses instead the spirit-saving love of an unknown boy, even though his choice causes his physical death. “.

‘The Other Boat’ begins with a group of children playing on the deck of a boat travelling from India to England. Lionel is attempting to get one of his friends, Cocoanut (named for his oddly shaped head), to play battle with him. Lionel is one of the five children belonging to Mrs. March, and is aboard the ship because his father had deserted his mother for a native he had met while fighting in a war abroad. Mrs. March makes several comments about how she disapproves of Lionel’s friend, Cocoanut. She refers to him as having a touch of the “tar brush” and not being entirely of European ancestry. However, she allows them to go ahead and play together for most of the voyage. When she observes that the children are playing in direct sunlight, she sees to it that they play under the awning before they become afflicted with sunstroke. Baby, the youngest of the March children, begins crying as Mrs. March is yelling at the children, so she picks him up to carry him inside. Before she can get inside, however, a young sailor hops out of his cabin and draws a white line around her—which puts her in a state of mind where she cannot escape the circle that surrounds her. Then, Cocoanut appears, screaming that she has been caught. She becomes infuriated with he as “a silly idle useless unmanly little boy.”

Years later, Lionel has become a Captain in the British army and a war hero, after he was injured in battle. He has grown into a handsome young man, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and broad shoulders and is aboard a ship to India, where he is to meet up with Isabel, a girl who we assume he is to marry. Cocoanut is also aboard, and had made arrangements for them to share a room together. Lionel seems rather shocked, and quite uncertain about sharing a room with a “half-caste”. But because the ship is already full, and because he acknowledges that his prejudices are tribal, and not personal, he seemingly agrees.

At first, things seem normal. They unpacked as they talked about old times, joking with each other. And then suddenly things became awkward. As Lionel was sitting on his top bunk, Cocoanut grabbed his leg, and began feeling up until he had reached his groin. Lionel’s mind begins to race. He is confused and disgusted as he leaps from his bunk, running out the door. At first he goes to see the Master at Arms, but he is nowhere to be found. He then heads to the Purser’s office, demanding that he have his room switched, without giving any reason whatsoever. When the Purser explains that all of the rooms are already full, Lionel furiously marches out of the office. He goes to the front of the ship and watches as he moves farther away from England as he tries to decide what to do. While at the front of the ship he runs into Captain Arbuthnot and his wife, and they form a group known as the Big Eight. After a few drinks and jokes, Lionel begins to loosen up a bit, and complains about having to room with a “wog”. Feeling a little bit better, Lionel decides to go ahead and deal with Cocoanut being his roommate for the voyage, and tries to forget about the strange incident that had happened earlier.

Everything seemed to be going well. “Order had been re-established”. But Lionel can’t help but think back on the night when Cocoanut had made his move, and even wonders what would have happened if he had granted Cocoanut’s desires. The ship enters the Mediterranean Sea, and one night, after Lionel returns to his cabin, he is awaited by Cocoanut and a bottle of champagne. After a few drinks, Lionel gave in Cocoanut’s seduction, and as they lay in bed together, they talked about their lives. At one point, Cocoanut questions the large scar that Lionel has on his groin area. It turns out that the scar was Lionel’s “battle wound”, which is what ended up making him a war hero. After the story of the battle wound, Lionel continues talking, getting further into deeply personal stories from his younger days. Cocoanut doesn’t go into much detail about his past. We are able to gather that he is in charge of some type of business, although his specific occupation is never revealed. We also know that he has several passports from different countries, which makes the reader wonder of who Cocoanut really is.

While the two men lay entwined in their cabin, they have become close with one another, not only on a physical but on an emotional level. Lionel says “I’m fonder of you than I know how to say”. Cocoanut’s response is that Lionel should have someone to take care of him. The two men ponder being together, but Lionel realises that it would be impossible.

Suddenly, Lionel notices that bolt on the door had been unlocked the entirety of their lovemaking. Anyone could have walked in. He blames himself for being too careless, but then Cocoanut claims that it was partly his fault also, because he knew that the door was unlocked the entire time. Furious with Cocoanut for not mentioning this before, Lionel decides to go out on the deck for a smoke. Realizing the seriousness of what just transpired, Cocoanut says, “When you come back you will not be you. And I may not be I.” As he is out on the deck for a smoke, he sees Colonel Arbuthnot sleeping, next to his wife. He thinks about everything which he would lose if anyone were to find out about the scandal with Cocoanut. He was the first born, and felt responsible for maintaining integrity of the family name. Thinking of Isabel, who is waiting on him in India, he decides what happened would not follow him any further. Hearing Lionel, Colonel Arbuthnot wakes up, and apologises to Lionel for having to bunk with a ‘wog’. It had just been discovered that Cocoanut was not supposed to be on the boat at all. He had sent some “fat bribes” out to get himself aboard the ship. After his discussion with the Colonel, Lionel leaves the deck.

Returning to the cabin, Lionel sees Cocoanut in his top bunk. Getting close to Lionel, Cocoanut insists that he kiss him. When Lionel rejects him, Cocoanut decides to go in for the kiss regardless and bites Lionel’s forearm. Lionel flashes back to the war and strangles Cocoanut, then kisses his eyelids tenderly, then commits suicide by throwing himself into the ocean. His body is never found. Typically depressing internalised homophobia from Forster.

In ‘The Obelisk’, I warm to the teacher who is reluctant to ask directions – typical male autonomy thing.

Some of the stories, however, are boring and the footnotes are somewhat pedantic.

And isn’t it very English to have ‘dice of friend bread’ with soup rather than croutes?

TLTCAOSQuotations:

“You can not possibly lie on hard asphalt,” he says.
“I have found that I can”, is the poignant reply

“Can’t you grasp, Barnabas, that under God’s permission certain evils attend civilization…Five years ago there was not a single hospital in this valley.” “Nor any disease, I understand.”

Love had been born somewhere in the forest, of what quality only the future could decide. Trivial or immortal, it had been born to two human bodies as a midnight cry. Impossible to tell whence the cry had come, so dark was the forest. Or into what worlds it would echo, so vast was the forest. Love had been born for good or evil, for a long life or a short.

“Let us both be entirely reasonable, sir. God continues to order me to love you. It is my life, whatever else I seem to do. My body and the breath in it are still yours, though you wither them up with this waiting. Come into the last forest, before it is cut down, and I will be kind, and all may end well. But it is now five years since you first said Not yet.”

“It is, and now I say Never.”

“This time you say Never?”

“I do.”

“When you come back you will not be you. And I may not be I.”

Dead silence ensued, which was well enough for Ansell, to whom it merely meant that neither of us had any more to say. But to educated people silence matters; it is a token of stupidity and lack of invention. Ansell.

But that was only the beginning of her mortification. Harold had proved her wrong. He had seen that she was a shifty, shallow hypocrite. She had not dared to be alone with him since her exposure. She had never looked at him and had hardly spoken. He seemed cheerful, but what was he thinking? He would never forgive her. Albergo Empedocle.

Had she only realized that it is only hypocrites who cannot forgive hypocrisy, whereas those who search for truth are too conscious of the maze to be hard on others – than the bitter flow of her thoughts might have been stopped and the catastrophe averted. But it was not conceivable to her that he should forgive – or that she should accept forgiveness, for to her forgiveness meant a triumph of one person over another. Albergo Empedocle.

‘Why are pictures like this allowed?’ he suddenly cried. He had stopped in front of a colonial print in which the martyrdom of St Agatha was depicted with all the fervour that incompetence could command.
‘It’s only a saint,’ said Lady Peaslake, placidly raising her head.
‘How disgusting – and how ugly’
‘Yes, very. It’s Roman Catholic.’ Albergo Empedocle.

She began to speak, but waited a moment for the maid to clear away the tea. In the waning light her room seemed gentle and grey, and there hung about it an odour (I do not write ‘the odour’) of Roman Catholicism, which is assuredly among the gracious things of the world. It was the room of a woman who had found time to be good to herself as well as to others; who had brought forth fruit, spiritual and temporal; who had borne a mysterious tragedy not only with patience but actually with joy. The rock.

This conversation taught me that some of us can meet reality on this side of the grave. I do not envy them. Such adventures may profit the disembodied soul, but as long as I have flesh and blood I pray that my grossness preserve me. Our lower nature has its dreams. Mine is of a certain farm, windy but fruitful, half-way between the deserted moorland and the uninhabitable sea. Hither, at rare intervals, she should descend and he ascend, to shatter their spiritual communion by one caress. The rock.

His hand came nearer, his eyes danced round the room, which began to fill with a golden haze. He beckoned, and Clesant moved into his arms. Clesand had often been proud of his disease but never, never of his body, it had never occurred to him that he could provoke desire. This sudden revelation shattered him, he fell from his pedestal, but not alone, there was someone to cling to, broad shoulders, a sunburnt throat, lips that parted as they touched him to murmur – ‘And to hell with Woolacott’. Dr Woolacott.

It is better to have a home of one’s own than to always be a typist. Hilda did not talk quite as she should, and her husband had not scrupled to correct her. She had never forgotten – it was such a small thing, yet she could not forget it – she had never forgotten that night on their honeymoon when she had said something ungrammatical about the relative position of their limbs. The obelisk.

Before the civil war, Pottibakia was a normal member of the Comity of Nations. She erected tariff walls, broke treaties, persecuted minorities, obstructed at conferences unless she was convinced there was no danger of a satisfactory solution; then she strained every nerve in the cause of peace. What does it matter? A morality

we only caught one of them. His mother, if you please, is president of the Women’s Institute, and hasn’t had the decency to resign ! I tell you, Conway, these people aren’t the same flesh and blood as oneself. One pretends they are, but they aren’t. And what with this dis­illusionment, and what with the right of way, I’ve a good mind to clear out next year, and leave the so-called country to stew in its own juice. It’s utterly corrupt. This man made an awfully bad impression on the Bench and we didn’t feel that six months, which is the maximum we were allowed to impose, was adequate to the offence. And it was all so re­voltingly commercial — his only motive was money.’ Arthur Snatchfold

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In a Strange Room by Damon Galgut

IASRMembers of our group said that it was one of the best books we had reads for quite sometime..’It was remarkable.’ ‘I loved it.’ ‘It rang bells.’

It is about a man who seems of settling down in any one place, with any one person. Each story has a different title, ‘The Follower’, ‘The Lover’ and ‘The Guardian’ and it seems to me that Galgut examines the different selves you become around different people, either by the role you play in their life or the self you make yourself be to fit in with them. I am sure I’m not the only to experience this.

I too have experienced rocks being thrown at/ through train windows.

‘Damon’ is an anagram of ‘Nomad’:

Some might say that I am boring because I no longer travel much and am content in my surroundings but they say that however far you travel you always take yourself with you. What are you trying to avoid?

Is the bloke avoiding himself – he uses ‘I’ and ‘he’ interchangeably about himself? Does he know who he is?

We see his alienation from himself and from others. Is he using travel as a form of searching in the wrong way?

He fixates on three different people on his travels: two men and one woman but when anyone gets too close to him he walks away, except in the last person who self-harms and attempts suicide. Is her self-harming some sort of catharsis that he too seeks? But then he finally walks away and returns, after a long time, to her grave. That’s a safe place where the other person won’t make any demands on you.

The novel begins starkly, with sparse punctuation bit it warms up and becomes more human. The third story is best and finds humour even in the worst part of hospitalisation.

It is beautifully intense and wonderfully observant. A very few words can covey a lot, e.g. He has thick curly hair and round glasses and a serious expression which is impassive, or perhaps merely resigned. The younger man has from up close a beauty that is almost shocking, red lips and high cheek-bones and a long fringe of hair. His brown eyes won’t meet my gaze.

And: Jerome, if I can’t make you live in words, if you are only the dim evocation of a face under a fringe of hair, and the others too, Alice and Christian and Roderigo, if you are names without a nature, it’s not because I don’t remember, no, the opposite is true, you are remembered in me as an endless stirring and turning. But it’s for this precisely that you must forgive me, because in every story of obsession there is only one character, only one plot. I am writing about myself alone, it’s all I know, and for this reason I have always failed in every love, which is to say at the very heart of my life.

He sits in the empty room, crying.

Of the frustrations of travel: Then they walk across a long bridge over a choked green riverbed to the immigration post on the other side. It’s only now that he starts to really consider what might happen. Although he’d said airily that he’d see if they would let him in, it didn’t seriously occur to him that they might not. But now, as the little cluster of sheds draws closer, with a boom across the road on the far side, a faint premonition prickles in his palms, maybe this won’t turn out as he hopes. And once they have entered the first wooden shed, and all the others have been stamped through by the dapper little man behind his counter, his passport is taken from him and in the pause that follows, the sudden stillness of the hand as it reaches for the ink, he knows what’s coming. Where is your visa. I didn’t know I needed one. You do.

when they come to the first little town the roadside is bare and deserted. He gets down and looks around, as if they might be hiding nearby. Where are my friends, he asks, but the boy shakes his head and grins. The friends of this peculiar man are no concern of his.

So he waits for the next bus to come. It’s as if he’s arrived at a place outside time, in which only he feels its lack. He paces up and down, he throws pebbles at a tree, he watches file of ants going into a hole in the ground, all in a bid to summon time again. When the interval is over perhaps an hour and a half has passed. By then a small crowd is swelling next to the road and everybody clambers on board the bus at once. He ends up without a seat and has to hang on to roof racks in the aisle. Outside there is a mountainous green countryside quilted with tea plantations. Banana trees clap their broad leaves in applause.

It’s a full three hours or more before the road begins to descend from this high hilly country and the edges of Mbeya accrete around him. By now the sun is setting and in the dwindling light all he can see are low, sinister buildings, made mostly of mud, crouching close to the ground: He climbs down at the edge of a crowded street swirling with fumes. He asks a woman nearby, do you know where the station is. Somebody else overhears him and repeats it to somebody else, and he finds himself escorted by a stranger to a group of men loitering nearby.

One of our seasoned travellers observed: I read it while I was on holiday- luckily I was with a friend and not travelling on my own or I might have had my own story of breakdown to tell. I think its one of the best things we’ve read, extremely unsettling . Having travelled on my own, I identified with the random meetings with people, and the strange mental states and anxieties that get triggered when you’re anchorless, away from home. In the first part, I was reminded very much of my erstwhile lodger (from hell) by that German guy. Such an accurate portrayal of a certain type of person/dynamic.

At the end, we wonder what effect suicide and its aftermath will have. Will he go on running away from his feelings or stay to confront them?

Quotations:

“The world you’re moving through flows into another one inside, nothing stays divided any more, this stands for that, weather for mood, landscape for feeling, every object is a corresponding inner gesture.”

“Jerome, if I can’t make you live in words, it’s not because I don’t remember, no, the opposite is true, you are remembered in me as an endless stirring and turning. But it’s for this precisely that you must forgive me, because in every story of obsession there is only one character, only one plot. I am writing about myself alone, it’s all I know, and for this reason I have always failed in every love.”

“A journey is a gesture inscribed in space, it vanishes even as it’s made. You go from one place to another place, and onto somewhere else again, and already behind you there is no trace that you were ever there. Things happen once only and are never repeated, never return.”

“You go from one place to another place, and on to somewhere else again, and already behind you there is

no trace that you were ever there. The roads you went down yesterday are full of different people now, none of them knows who you are”

The author:

Galgut’s novels are invariably set not in the towns but in the eerie, wide open spaces of rural South Africa. This, he says, is because he’s more interested in the country’s fragmented identity than its day-to-day politics and believes the more mythical landscapes of the countryside allow him to explore that more effectively.

‘Being gay myself, I’m naturally drawn to the interactions between men rather than men and women,’ says Galgut. ‘But I like to write about it obliquely because I’m fascinated by the notion of an unspoken sexual life. Also, being gay immediately placed me outside the values of the society I was growing up in. Apartheid was a very patriarchal system so its assumptions seemed foreign to me from the outset. I’ve always had the advantage of alienation.’

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Like People In History by Felice Picano

LPIH(Not discussed by the group but written in a personal capacity.)

I read this book because a member of the Cheltenham group, who were discussing it, recommended it to me.

It took me a while to ‘get into it’ because I read the first few chapters during a noisy train journey. However, I don’t like any of the characters. They’re too camp and drug-fuelled. The main ones do redeem themselves towards the end.

I don’t like novels involving AIDS – too depressing.

I had to look up delphinoid – resembling a dolphin – describing a boy swimming; BVDs = a brand of underwear marketed by Bradley, Voorhees & Day;

Skeezix = slang for a total loser, lamer, pencil necked geek, named after one of the main characters of the old comic strip Gasoline Alley.

a story of three people – Roger, Alistair and Matt – and how their lives intersect. Set in the present but told through ‘flashbacks’, it shows what people will put each other through but ultimately how love is enduring.

Nine-year-old cousins Roger and Alistair first meet in white-picket-fence 50s America, their story will end in an ambulance in the 1990s

friendship and rivalry, of betrayal, of love and of reconciliation.

The account of pain caused by an ingrowing wisdom tooth brings back memories of my youth.

And how’s this for good style: I nodded. Silence descended. Alistair sipped. I smoked. The rain dripped.

I had to look up multitonal – two words = multi tonal; plotzed = collapse or be beside oneself with frustration, annoyance, or other strong emotion. (Yiddish); zaftig = (of a woman) having a full, rounded figure; plump.

LPIH 2Quotations:

Wally checked his widow’s peak in the fish-eye corner mirror, then slid me against one wall and began to tongue-kiss me as though he were trying to ingest both of my tonsils simultaneously. This, of course, was intended to shut me up and to incite any purple-haired woman with a Lhasa apso unfortunate to have rung for the elevator.

I’d been surprised to hear Sandy say of a man sit­ting on a bench, “That guy’s a hummersexual.”

“Homosexual,” I corrected.

“We call ’em hummersexual, because whenever you pass one, he goes, hmmmmmmm!” Sandy illustrated.

Sure enough as we passed by, the man went “Hmmmmmmmm!”

Todd is gone. Five minutes later, he appears on the circular platform, which is slowly rising through a hole in the floor into the middle of the dance floor. The fence goes up too. Just in time. Because it seems like every gook in the place charges it. The lights darken, then spots come on Todd. Theatrical lights. The music suddenly changes to Elton John’s ‘Candle in the Wind.’ Todd’s wearing some kind of field dress—fatigues, equipment, everything but a loaded rifle. He begins to gyrate and strip. When he takes his shirt off, he’s got a sweaty grunt A-shirt on underneath, and every gook in the place moans. When he opens his pants, they sigh. When he pulls them down and grabs his dick, they groan and cheer. By the time the third Elton John song comes on—`Bennie and the Jets’—he’s naked except for his boots and a cap, and he begins to masturbate. Mind you, the little platform is slowly revolving, and mind you, even with the fence, they’re all reaching out their hands, so that at certain times, depending upon the angle, they’re stroking his legs, the boots, sometimes even his ass, which Todd sometimes sticks out for them to reach—just barely.……”When Todd comes, he yells like some guy at a rodeo, and all the gooks yell right along with him, and he does what he said, he sprays them with his jizz, and they reach out for it. It’s like completely animal­istic and the all-time hottest thing I’ve ever in my life seen. The gooks are still begging for more as the platform begins to descend, with Todd dropped down on it with his knees spread out, sitting on his haunches, like a rock guitarist who’s just played the wildest set, only Todd’s hold­ing his dick instead of a bass guitar.

“Well, I found him down in his dressing room, and I was so hot, I just screwed Todd right there, even though I’m sure Bubbles Dao and some other guys were watching through the poorly constructed bam­boo walls.

“When we left, Bubbles Dao told me to come again, anytime, and work for him. He already had an act in mind for me.”

“Did you go back?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Not only did I go back, I became Bubbles Dao’s star,” Matt said. “On every leave, I’d do two, sometimes three shows a day. I did soldier ­and cowboy acts and construction worker and surfer boy acts, and I packed ’em in. He had to pay me two hundred dollars a minute. _And sometimes I did it for special groups, smaller groups, including women, for three hundred a minute, people who would stay there after I sprayed them, as I kept milking it, and who’d stand there as I sprayed piss all over them.”

“What if Stonewall hadn’t happened? Would we all be zipping around and hiding like those poor fifties queens? Daring our jobs, our lives, to be ourselves, to even protest?”

“We’ve been the first generation of gays to force ourselves or to be forced out of the closet. We had to experience the traumas of coming out, and making the gay movement happen, not to mention the more general trauma of getting through the roller coaster of the late sixties….”

“Golden lads, that’s what Haussman called the huge promising generation of young Brits mowed down in the First World War.”

“Nature is usually so tightfisted with what it provides. So very prudent how it husbands its resources. Why would Nature go to the trouble to create so much luxuriance in what after all was a group of nonreproductive creatures? Why create such an extraordinary generation of beautiful, talented, quickly intelligent men, and then why let them all die so rapidly, one after the other?”

“My doom was of another kind. Perhaps survival was to be my doom.” “Who’s left? How few of us? Why bother to leave any of us? Why not just wipe the slate clean and admit it was a mistake?”

“Don’t tell anyone, but I’m negative.”

“You needn’t be ashamed,” Ron said.

“I don’t know how it happened. I did all the wrong things with all the wrong people in all the wrong places at all the wrong times.” “Someone’s got to escape.”

“I know. But it’s, well, embarrassing at times. Not to mention highly uncomfortable in existential terms.”

 Since I’d become a Buddhist, it was all I could do to kill a cockroach.

Evidently, Junior’s was that type of personality, not uncommon among homosexuals, called “an injustice collector”; except that, altruisticallv, he seemed to collect injustices for others as well as for himself.

Now, I’ve known Anatole for close to a decade, and I know he cat’ be bullied. I also know that he carries some deep-seated resentment about being gay. Nothing personal or even psychological, mind and most of the time he’ll deny it. It exists on a simple, practical Anatole believes that being gay has held him back, kept him reaching his fullest social potential among the rich and powerful this world. That, Anatole will be the first to admit, is all he ever desired. He’ll also admit that it’s a silly, superficial desire, but being what they are, that makes no difference at all. Anatole’s belief of course, true: his gayness has held him back. What he hasn’t recognized is that it’s also protected him from getting too close top that great source of American decadence and—worse—dullness: To Anatole, however, it’s all particularly irritating, in that he sees being gay as the only thing holding him back, when in fact being Jewish with a made-up last name is at least as crucial a factor.

Cross my scrotum and hope I get crotch rot if I’m lying.

“It’s really fabulous!”

“Really?” Phillip asked. “As good as The Persian Boy?”

“Oh, honey! That book’s trash,” Ian quickly put in. “You’ll have to forgive Lip,” he explained to the attorney and Nils.

“What do you mean trash! I thought The Persian Boy was wonderful!” Phillip insisted. “I read it twice and cried both times!”

“I work overtime every night.”

“How can you have a life?”

“This is my life.”

“How ghastly! What about . . .”—Alistair looked around—”boys?”

“I occasionally go to the tubs! The Ritch Street Baths,” I clarified.

“Oh!”

“And an occasional bar. A few interesting ones opened south of

Market.”

“You mean . . . Aren’t leather bars dangerous?” Alistair asked. “Don’t be silly! I used to go to Kellers and the Eagle in New York all the time. These places are no different.”

“Really? Near Hamburger Mary’s off Folsom Street? We drove past one last month and . . .”

“It’s not what you think, Alistair.”

“I blame myself for ruining you,” he overdramatized.

“Grow up, gir—” I caught myself. “Grow up, Alistair. It’s not all and stuff. It’s mostly attitude and costume.”

“You have a lovely apartment, a good job: you should have a lover. “I don’t want a lover.”

“Surely you don’t want to hang around street corners at three in morning wearing dead cow and waiting for someone sleazy to come and . . . do whatever you do?” He trailed off aimlessly.

When she was gone, he said to Matt, “We only have cocktails from thir­ties and forties films. If Bette or Joan didn’t order it, we won’t dare.

“Vegbian! Vegetarian Lesbian! That’s what we call the Lorraines and Elaines who move to rural lanes with their lovers and who eschew males and machinery and who don’t shave their underarms and who wear enormous overalls and get very fat and very strong and who raise other people’s children and lots of animals using only breast-feeding and only eat vegetables and who suffer in silence when some male has an orgasm sixty miles away.”

“Well! As Dorothy Parker said, ‘You can lead a whore to culture, you can’t make her think’!”

Poor women, taught all their to bend to men even when the men are stupid or wrong. Taught to be direct or forward or openly angry . . . No wonder they become backstabbers.

I do consider your gener­ation of gays to be filled with mediocrity! What made my group stand apart was not only our attractiveness, our social cohesion, but that by the time we appeared at the Pines in 1975 or so, we were already achieved individuals, architects and composers, authors and designers. illustrators and filmmakers, choreographers and playwrights and direc­tors and set designers and . . .

“Not perfect, God knows, not anything like perfect! Troubled. Has­sled certainly. And why not? We’d been the first generation of gays to force ourselves or to be forced out of the closet. We had to experience the traumas of coming out, and of making the gay movement happen. not to mention the more general trauma of just getting through the roller coaster of the late sixties. . . . But despite that, we were almost godlike in our creative power. Face it, we pretty much created the sev­enties! Its music, its way of socializing, its sexual behavior, its clubs. clothing, its entire sense of style and design, its resorts, its celebrities, its language! We were always creating, always doing something!

“Golden lads,” Wally said quietly. “That’s what Housman called the huge promising generation of young Brits mowed down in the First World War.”

Remember Tony Bishop with the scrumptious body, enormous nipples, and not terribly big wee-wee for a person of the colored persuasion? No? Well, he was a sweet and pretty lad, and I was in my Third-World Phase, an when we began screwing

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Loaded by Christos Tsiolkas

L(We have not discussed this in the group but it was a ‘spin off’ from one of our meetings and this review is in a personal capacity.)

I wonder how much of this is autobiographical, give that it’s his first novel.

Were we all as judgemental at that age?

I don’t understand all the drug-taking. Or why he hates himself and everybody else. Though it gradually dawned on me that this cry of despair is similar to the book of Ecclesiastes, whose writer sees the whole of life as ‘vanity and a chasing after wind..’

Whereas The Slap was a considered, panoramic look at Melbourne society, shifting subtly and successfully between eight different viewpoints, Loaded is a high-octane, drug- and sex-fuelled romp through 24 hours in the life of Ari, a 19-year-old Greek-Australian gay man living on the margins of society.

L 2Quotations:

 The aching longing to be somewhere else, out of this city, out of this country, out of this body and out of this life.

“they’re on heroin, I’m on speed, different drugs, different moods.”

Noise connects with the pleasure emanating from my gut… LSD, the ecstasy, the speed, the dope, the alcohol rush around my body and I feel one with the pulsating crowd…

“home is the last place I want to be”

Every street around here looks like every other street, every stranger you meet walking along looks like the same stranger you passed blocks ago… East, west, south, north, the city of Melbourne blurs into itself

“meeting new people, getting excited about unfamiliar sights, sounds, and smells… a couple of years away from the family and all their hang-ups and expectations”.

On this tape I’m listening to I have the Jackson Five doing ‘I want you back’. This is a supreme moment in music history, even if I’m the only one in the world who knows it. On one of my tapes I have one side of the tape only playing that song. When things aren’t going so well I play that cassette over and over and just walk around the city or walk around Richmond. I sit on a rock by the river throwing bread to the ducks, letting a young Michael Jackson cheer me up. In the three minutes it takes the song to play I’m caught in a magic world of harmony and joy, a truly ecstatic joy, where the aching longing to be somewhere else, out of this city, out of this country, out of this body and out of this life, is kept at bay. I relive these three minutes again and again till I’m calm enough to walk back into life again. I can’t meditate in silence, I haven’t got the patience. I meditate to music; I need something else going on.

—I don’t thing you’re a dag. She smiles back but I don’t let her off the hook completely. I do think you’re a wog.
—So what, I’m proud of it. And what are you? I don’t answer. I’m not a wog. I’m not sure what I am but I’m not a wog. Not the way she means. Mick Jagger’s voice comes on rough and soulful, the opening verse to You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Dina starts to sway to the song: she’s enjoying being stoned to it.

Ethnicity is a scam, a bullshit, a piece of crock. The fortresses of the rich wogs on the hill are there not to keep the Australezo out, but to refuse entry to the uneducated-long-haired-bleached-blonde-no-money wog. No matter what the roots of the rich wogs, Greek, Italian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Lebanese, Arab, whatever, I’d like to get a gun and shoot them all. Bang bang. The East is hell. Designed by Americans.

My breathing seems loud to my ears. I allow the night breeze to tease my body, to cool me down, and I piss against the alley wall. I tuck my T-shirt into my jeans, tread on the cigarette, mixing the tobacco in with the come and piss on the ground and walk back through the car park and into the backyard of the pub.

The politics of sex and of the city dominate the narrative, but the characters outlive the length of the novel by demonstrating how real they are, how they are trying to break free of such constraints.

I have no interest, she tells them, in involving myself with progressive, so-called left-wing Greeks if it is the same faces, the same conservative mob of wogs, married, bourgeois, living in the suburbs, who happen to be able to spout Marx and Lenin. The woman across from me flinches. Ariadne continues: I want to be involved with the deviants, the mad, the creative, all those people that the Greek community despises, that the general Australian community despises. For Christ sake, she screams at them, communism is dead. She walks off.

I hate it, but the North is temptation. I take the bus from the city and roam the ovals and parks and river banks, searching out fat Arab men and chain-smoking Greek men who stand with their dicks out at urinals, cigarette in their mouths, waiting for you. A defiant stance, for I am a wog myself, and I have to force myself to my knees before another wog. I have to force my desire to take precedence over my honour. It is in the North where I search for the body, the smile, the skin that will ease the strain on my groin, that will take away the burning compulsion and terror of my desire. In the North I find myself, find shadows that recall my shadow. I roam the North so I can come face to face with the future that is being prepared for me.

The club is now crammed tight with people, mostly men. The music is a savage ceremony, men walking around each other, making eye contact, flirting, but flirting in a detached, cynical manner, to avoid the humiliation of rejection. The women are mostly on the dance floor, thrusting their hips to one another, oblivious to the games of male sexual conquest around them. A few very drunken men, or out-of-it men are putting on an aggressive manner and asking for sex from strangers, loudly and insistently.

“I saw John Cusack interviewed on late-night television and he looked like me”

In the East, in the new world of suburbia there is no dialogue, no conversation, no places to go out: for there is no need, there is television.

But it seems to me that there are two things in this world guaranteed to make you old and flabby. Work and marriage.

L3 the greying men in their ugly business shirts, shuffle paper around all day, have guilty sex in toilets or at the brothels on the way to the station, and return home every night to drop dead in front of the television. Television rules. School, work, shopping, sex, are distractions to the central activity of the Eastern suburbs: flicking the channels on the remote control.

Joe’s mother went into hospital in our third year in high school. The woman flipped out, went crazy, took her Bible in one hand, an egg beater in the other, and roamed the streets of Burnley screaming that the Antichrist was coming. The news rushed through the school, there were whispers and jokes made in the locker rooms, in the kafenio, across the counters of the milk bars. My mother told me, and I listened wide-eyed, that the priest from the Burnley Street church tried to take her by the hand and she started pounding him with the Bible. My mother crossed herself as she told me.

In the school yard the story became embellished with adolescent lewdness. She had tried to stick the holy book in her vagina, had tried to proposition the priest, the priest accepted, they fucked on the altar. The simple story was that the woman had gone crazy. The embellishments were nursery horror stories to frighten the children and to keep the presence of insanity away. Joe’s mother was normal, that was what scared everyone. An-eight-hours-a-day-factory-worker-with-two-normal-kids-and-a-fat-hard-worlcing-wog-husband. The woman was so normal, a standard Greek wife.

That day I began to feel alone in this world. I walked past Agia Triada, the Greek church in which I had been baptised in the blood of the holy trinity and I opened the iron door and walked in. I lit a candle and crossed myself, looking for God. No one answered. Of course. I looked at the icon of the Madonna, the picture in a gold frame, and looked past her mysterious smile, noticed the cracks in the purple of her robes, noticed the lipstick marks on the glass. The Madonna was mad. She too must have been beautiful when she roamed the streets of some middle-eastern village claiming that God had deposited his sperm in her belly. I remember thinking this thought, thinking that God would strike me now, that the chandelier hanging from the church ceiling would fall on my head. Nothing stirred in the church. I touched the icon, left the building and outside spat on the church steps. I turned, gathered my fingers into a fist and smashed hard against the iron doors.

The drugs are circulating through my body. My skin is alive in sharp bursts of electricity. My nipples are erect, my face is flushed, the hair on my naked arms tingling. I’ll have to dance soon, or fuck soon. The energy inside me is pushing against the confines of my body.

Drugs mould the club, drugs initiate the dancing, the search for sex… Without the drugs the music would be numbing, monotonous. Without the drugs the faces would be less attractive…

I must appear strong for him to want me. He too wants the one hundred percent genuine wog fuck… [but] I want to tell him I adore him.

“You’re either Greek or Australian, you have to make a choice. Me, I’m neither. It’s not that I can’t decide; I don’t like definitions.”

“I want to tell her that words such as faggot, wog, poofter, gay, Greek, Australian, Croat are just excuses. Just stories, they mean shit. Words don’t stop the boredom.”

 “we hesitate in our physical communions. Testing each other, not wanting to be the first to admit desire. The first to be the faggot.”

 “No matter how many hours spent at the gym, no matter the clothes he wears, the way he cuts his hair, the way he talks, a gay man always reveals himself as a faggot.”

“He was a momentary figure in my life. That’s what I like about casual sex with men; there’s no responsibility towards the person you fuck with.”

“insults have formed me, they have nourished me. In latrines and underneath piers I have enjoyed pleasures that are made sweeter by the contempt I know they bestow on me in the eyes of the respectable world I abhor.”

“It is impossible to feel camaraderie if the dominant wish is to get enough money, enough possessions to rise above the community you are in.”

“Pol Pot was right to destroy, he was wrong not to work it out that you go all the way. You don’t kill one class, one religion, one party. You kill everyone because we are all diseased, there is no way out of this shithole planet.”

 “Are you proud of being Australian? The old mans question feels like an interrogation. The answer is easy. No, no way. Proud of being an Australian? I laugh. What a concept, I continue, what is there to be proud of? The whole table laughs at this and Ariadne gives me a hug. They forget me and continue their conversation.”

“If they were very angry they might come in, turn off the music, throw your CD or cassette against the wall. The screaming could go on half the night, wake up the neighbours, wake up the dogs. They called us names, abused us, sometimes hit us, short sharp slaps. It was not the words themselves, but the combination of savage emotion and insult, the threat of violence and the taunting tone that shattered our attempts at pretend detachment; it was Peter’s sly, superior smile, my sister’s half-closed eyes which did not look at them, my bored, blank face, that spurred my parents on to greater insults, furious laments.”

Speed, if it’s good, can take me higher than I can ever go, higher than my natural bodily chemicals can take me. […] On speed I feel macho, but not aggressive. I’m friendly to everyone. Speed evaporates fear. On speed I dance with my body and my soul. In this white powder they’ve distilled the essence of the Greek word kefi. Kefi is the urge to dance, to be with good friends, to open your arms to life. Straight, I can approximate kefi, but I am always conscious of fighting off boredom. Speed doesn’t let you get bored.

The West at night, as you drive over the Westgate Bridge, is a shimmering valley of lights. In the day, under the harsh glare of the sun, the valley reveals itself as an industrial quilt of wharfs, factories, warehouses, silos and power plants. And the endless stretch of suburban housing estates. The West is a dumping ground; a sewer of refugees, the migrants, the poor, the insane, the unskilled and the uneducated. There is a point in my city, underneath the Swanston Street Bridge where you can sit by the Yarra River and contemplate the chasm that separates this town. Look down the river towards the East and there are green parks rolling down to the river, beautiful Victorian bridges sparkle against the blue sky. Face West and there is the smoke scarred embankment leading towards the wharfs. The beauty and the beast. All cities, all cities depend on this chasm.

I’m not going to change a thing, no one will remember me when I’m dead. My epitaph; he slept, he ate, he fucked, he pissed, he shat He ran to escape history. That’s his story.

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Jack Holmes and his Friend – Edmund White

JHAHFMost people in our group found it very readable. Some observed that the book has an interesting structure. The first part is classic White but he goes astray when the narrator changes person and he writes about things about which he knows less. However, one person really loved the second section where this happens. Some of this section echoes John Irving’s In One Person (and Irving does appear in the acknowledgements).

There’s a better study of obsession in Alan Holinghurst’s The Folding Star.

I enjoyed reading this book (twice) and it still amazes me how English attitudes are way ahead of those in America. I need reminding that many Americans come from small, remote, farms whereas the majority of brits now live in cities and so they encounter a wide variety of views.

Jack is a believable character. Because he doesn’t want to face up to his sexuality he keeps promising that he won’t ‘do it again’. He regards his sexuality as “a vice, a mental illness’. I like Jack and want to know what will happen to him and how things will turn out.

When Jack becomes promiscuous, his internalised homophobia makes him regard all hi8s partners as in some way less than normal, flawed. He can’t date anyone as this shows commitment and he wants to remain a libertine.

He confirms a hunch that many share – that gay men tend to have larger ‘equipment’ than straights because those so endowed get adulation from other men and they continue to seek this until it becomes habitual. Also that gay men give better head than women.

Is there meant to be a double-entendre in ‘Will was the cunning loser with his bland caginess, his refusal to take a stand.’?

Those who keep check of their stocks and shares will appreciate: “I write annual reports for corporations. They’re too para­lyzed by bureaucracy to write them for themselves, so I have a freelance business—”

“But what are they?” Pia asked, sounding fastidious, as if she’d found a mouse paw in the compote.

Before I could answer, Jack said, “They’re these glossy pam­phlets sent to the stockholders explaining why the company’s losses are a good thing. I get them at Newsweek all the time. The law forces companies to make a full disclosure, but these four-color photos and carefully worded bromides are designed to throw dust in everyone’s eyes.”

One reviewer asked it believable that Jack would spy on Will in the toilet. Well, if he was that desperate, then yes.

Jack says that he never remembers his dreams and then proceeds to tell his psychiatrist about one of them. He has kept his sexuality from one of his friends and yet suddenly starts telling her about it as if she had always known.

I am not sure whether this description has much literary merit: She shone like an ingot in the banklike majesty of this room; the light outside had just faded, and the gold bead curtains came to life, strafed by the electric lights projected up onto them.

“It seems funny just to say hi in this room,” I said. “It feels like we should be hammering out the Treaty of Versailles or something.”

 There’s an odd spelling mistake on p. 85 where a joss stick is called a ‘doss’ stick. Maybe some sort of Freudian slip thinking of hippies.

I have to look up ‘pseudopod’ on p. 188 and was none the wiser. Also axonometric.

There’s pretentious language: a ship in a bottle is described as being in a ‘vitrine’.

And what is this talk of ‘days in purgatory?’ Years, surely.

I really got annoyed in the second half of the book, where it changes narrators, and Will says to himself ‘thought to self – that is a good idea for a story’ – sometimes three times on the same page.

There is some insight into full body organisms which only a gay man like the author, certainly not straight Will, could know about: In marriage I’d had a mouth for kissing and a penis for intercourse and ears to be whispered into, but now in concubinage my whole body had come alive and was glowing and yearning for more……Alex’s father might be a dynamic lawyer, but he obviously had a body that was 90 percent numb below the neck. I could tell how in­sensitive it was; I’d seen him at the Larchmont Yacht Club in a swimsuit. He could have lost a leg to a shark and felt nothing. Body armoring. A Charlottesville friend of mine, Edith, who was seeing a shrink, a follower of Wilhelm Reich, talked about “body armoring” all the time. The theory was that you hid your feelings and they got lodged in your muscles—which must have been why my shoulders ached. Edith had said that when her shrink manipulated her muscles, he would release the pain stored in them and she would sob. Pia never made me cry, but she did awaken me, unlock all those emotions….. (Or is this a clunky stereotype – men are less in touch with their bodies than women?)

The adultery guilt is well told – going to confession to a deaf priest, getting crabs and trying to find an excuse in case you’ve passed it on to your wife.

I just loved hearing of the fear straight men have in locker rooms: One guy at work started lift­ing weights and wearing his shirts tapered. We never let up on him. He admitted that he was expecting women to flirt with him now that he’d gotten in shape, but as he told us red-faced a month later, after many drinks, his only true admirers were ho­mos at the gym. He couldn’t change into his shorts in the locker room without first wrapping a towel around his waist because these two persistent fairies kept buzzing around him, hoping for a peep at his peter.

“Let ’em see it,” we drunkenly shouted. “Then they’ll lose interest!”

“Fuck you!” he bellowed. “I’d never shake them. Not after they saw what a real man was made of.”

The old gay man’s contempt for gaylib rings true to that generation.

I agreed with the sentiment that straight men become effeminised on marrying – the women choose the wallpaper.

I liked the idea that Pia’s brains were the size of golfballs.

Also the difference in the way gay and straight split up: “That shows what bad heterosexual values you both have.”

“How so?”

“Straight people, as soon as they’ve broken up, it’s off with their heads.”

“And gays?”

“We stay friends. Why invest so much energy and time in an­other person and then just cut him out of your life forever? That’s the nasty, brutish way straights behave.”

“But it doesn’t mean anything to you gay guys—it’s all just a joke for you.”

“Not a joke,” Jack insisted. “We’ve invested so much—” “Invested! But you’re defending your investments like a dry goods merchant.”

“And why do you straights gladly throw over everything you’ve achieved?”

“Love,” I said, “isn’t an achievement. It’s like a sonata. Once you’ve finished playing it, nothing remains. Not even sounds in the air.”

“There are marks on the page someone else can follow,” he said.

JHAHF2 And the gay man who admits that he is ageing and than there is more to life than playing the stud: He was always expecting his real life to begin in another year or two. He hadn’t worked out the details, but he vaguely hoped that suddenly he’d be doing different, better work and living in another city far away with new, superior people, even a perfect lover. Strangely enough, when he pictured that lover, he was an older man, not his type at all but someone who might be a lively companion. When he wasn’t in heat or bored or afraid to be alone, he deplored his relentless sex drive. He started to do vol­unteer work for St. Luke’s in the Village; they provided free shel­ter for the local bums, but they needed someone to stay awake and supervise the men lest they steal from one another. One night every two weeks Jack would sit on top of a ladder and survey the loud, sleeping men, or he’d patrol the aisles between the beds. He thought he was no better than they were, except that his addiction was more or less compatible with holding down a job.

He liked the idea of volunteering and doing charity work. He enjoyed going to benefits for the church. He recognized that he had a natural gift for getting along with old rich ladies. He thought they were cute, and even a very grand doyenne of society never intimidated him. He started beaming the minute they began talking together, and he would touch her elbow or even her waist. A few drew back in horror, but most of them liked his physical warmth. He could be very soothing. No one quite knew who he was, but he fell into that vague category of “extra men,” those creatures with good manners, nice clothes, respectable jobs, and no obvious moral flaws. They could be counted on to fill out a table or cut in at a dance. Husbands trusted their wives to them for a night out at the opera or an outing to the Village in search of antiques. Everyone assumed that most of the extra men above a certain age were gay or pathologically sin­gle, but no one wanted to talk about these drawbacks too openly. For one thing, it was very agreeable for a sexagenarian lady to have a handsome, well-groomed younger man flirt with her—why dispel that pleasant mystery?

This, from Will, is true and needs to be told: “I hate the way Europeans think that puritanism explains ev­erything about America. Anyway, what they mean is prudish, not puritanical. There’s no reason to imagine that the puritans were that prudish. I’d like to write a pamphlet in praise of puritan­ism that would be handed out on every plane bound for America and would explain that it was the puritans who thought up universal free and compulsory education and prison reform and abolitionism.”

The best quotation of all: “At your age it’s hard to believe, but you’ll find out that in the end that’s all anyone has, family.”

Palmer said, “That’s the most depressing thing you’ve ever said.”

And who gets STDS? Not who you think.

JHAHF3 Quotations:

“I just love musicals. I identify with the waitress in The Most Happy Fella. Oh my feet, my poor feet.”

“She knew what I wanted and apparently wasn’t afraid of it”

“Isn’t it strange how heterosexuals see competition and rivals everywhere?”

“excessively pliable”, “a ‘nice’ boy who knew how to please others”

“a Princeton luster”

“with a woman you could have a real relationship conducted in the sunlight, whereas this homo thing was just slithering around in the shadows”

“They’d throw it over one shoulder and burp it and weep.”

“canine rapture”

“this blend of patchouli and boy mud was the most intoxicating scent, the true smell of modernity”

“hold my cock at the base like a throttled child, and to lick the head with thorough care, almost (to change the image) as if it were a doll’s head that she was painting with her tongue, determined to cover every last centimetre”.

“[the]  beat movement was just winding down and the hippies were emerging”—a time when “[knowing] that someone was queer could place him at your mercy and, if you blabbed about it, could cost him his job.”

“I’d come back to the Northern Review after many years away, and even the old people on the staff were too young to have ever known me …. Someone—maybe it was me—had killed two young men …..
Dr. Adams lowered herself into the bathysphere, the better to be laved by the unconscious. When she reemerged, her mouth smoking, she said, “I think the two young dead men in this dream are you and Will. It’s your younger, neurotic selves who are dying off to be replaced by—who knows? It’s a hopeful dream.
His ribs were as visible as hands around a cup.”

“I’d rather come back with a few transcendent memories than an album of snapshots.”

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Kitchen Venom – Philip Hensher

KV(We have not discussed this in the group but it was a ‘spin off’ from one of our meetings and this review is in a personal capacity.)

What an interesting way to start a book – with a funeral. You get introduced to all the characters but they are all (or mostly) on their best behaviour so you know that you have more to learn about them and what they’re really like: They ended with the professional choices of the professional undertaker, the grand official sorrow of the priest from a church no one ever went to. He accepted solicitude and regret gracefully. When the Secretary of State came, John, too, was flattered, and he could not suppress the thought that Helena would have been delighted at this man turning up at her funeral, who for seven years had never man­aged to get to one of her parties.

Like most modern books, the story jumps about.

There’s a scene set in the notorious ‘Brief Encounter’ bar: Later on they went to bed together. The man gave him a false name and telephone number afterwards. Louis gave him his real name and a false telephone number, since he did not like him one bit, had fucked him out of politeness and did not want to be troubled by part-time heterosexuals. The man left in time for Louis to have dinner on his own before going to bed.

Who else entitles a chapter: Have you ever been fucked?

I never knew that sartorial manners required: keep double-cuffed shirts for double-breasted suits,’ Henry said. ‘That’s a very nice suit, but I think you probably ought to wear a single-cuffed shirt with it. The shirt looks more perhaps formal than the suit.’

I had to look up ‘Zooty clothes’.

Surely it doesn’t take a day and a half to clear the air of cigarette smoke.

There is an observant take on hospital routine: ‘You see, they come round at six-thirty in the morning, and you have to choose what you want for lunch and for supper. Lunch is at twelve noon, and supper is at five-thirty. And of course by then you’ve quite forgotten what you ordered, partly because it’s so long, and partly because I’m completely gaga, and it’s far too late to change what you thought might be nice at the crack of dawn.’

……how like life it is. You get asked what you’re going to want when you’re almost bound to make the wrong decision, and then you’re stuck with it. When the trolley lady comes round in the end, you might fancy the sole, but you’re stuck with the sausage sandwich. Or perhaps you could only really manage a small salad, but you have to get through an enormous beef stew.

I would have thought that the author would have known better than to have written ‘bored of’ when he meant ‘bored with’. It wasn’t in direct speech.

There is clearly a waste of space in the Palace of Westminster. Literally, many rooms where nobody enters or even knows about. Also people who have little or no work to do but are paid handsomely every month.

There is also a lot of hot air: Mem­bers; their lack of hygiene; their badly cut suits; the halitotic stew of their breath.

I greatly enjoyed someone describing Mrs. Thatcher as an ‘old cow’.

It is said that the author’s career as a full-time novelist was launched with a scandal that saw him sacked as a House of Commons clerk after writing this novel – he gave an interview for a gay magazine in which he described Members of the House of Commons as ugly. In the story, one member is described as a lunatic and in the voting on the fate of the prime minister, most are shown as not knowing what they were doing and simply relying on the Tory party whips to tell them how to vote. He describes his sacking after the publication of Kitchen Venom as “one of the happiest moments of my life. It was bliss”, although he acknowledges that he “wasn’t exactly starting from scratch when I lost my job”.

Some say that Kitchen Venom foreshadows Alan Hollinghurst’s The Line of Beauty, especially its portrayal of the coldness underlying the relationships.

No spoilers but the ending is in very lyrical prose.

Quotations

Kitchen venom; a place nourishment was produced, and a place from which poison could come.

When he had bought the flat, he had considered that it would be good for him to have a lodger. It would give him a certain amount of income, and it would introduce him to a large circle of people whom he would otherwise not meet. He therefore informed a telephone service for homosexuals in London that he was looking for a lodger. The prospective lodgers who had visited him were three. The first was a man who propositioned him before he had been shown the whole flat.

Never before had people lived on the streets of London; never before had people been asked for money; never before had people asked for money.

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King of the Badgers – by Philip Hensher

KOBUnlike the book group in Hanmouth, where ‘some can’t even finish the book after a month’s notice’, our group read and, monthly, enjoyed this book. Some thought that the author was better than Patrick Gale or Alan Hollinghurst at writing about this sort of setting and more humorous. Many want to read more from him.

Someone who used to live in North Devon said that this place was typical. He thought he knew a Miranda in real life. As in real life, we don’t learn too much detail about people: we only know about them from encounters. ‘It’s like The Archers on speed,’ one said.

There was a good description of Paddington and annoyance at slow people when one is rushing for a train

There were good references to popular culture.

We get stereotypes: upper-middle-class villagers are shallow, selfish, and fat: being lower-class implies you are uneducated, grasping, and willing to do anything; being gay means that you go to wild orgies with drugs. Straights’ are obsessed with anal sex

There is a UKIP tendency: criminals are likely to have black accents and CCTV is mainly to monitor youth.

I liked the notion of Devon as a suburb of London. I disliked the description of Simon Russell Beale as someone of “real quality” because I can’t stand him.

The repetition of ‘He made love to the little girl.’ Was creepy and one person thought that abuse was too serious a topic to weave a humorous story around.

One thought that the chapters were too short and wondered whether the author committed himself to writing a set number of words each day and stopped once that target was met.

There is a seeming absence of editing – someone flew from Rome to London but we are later told it was in the other direction.

It was well-written, so the Americanism of ‘donators’ for ‘donors’ was a little jarring.

We are still not sure as to the origin of the title.

Quotations

“at its most expensive, unfettered views of the estuary and the hills beyond, crested with a remote and ducal folly-tower.”

“In any case,” Heidi said to the police later, quite calmly, “I knew China hadn’t gone to visit her friends for one straight and simple reason. She doesn’t have any friends. She’s not been a popular girl, ever. They bully her, I expect, because they say she’s fat and she smells. I don’t think she smells, but at that age, it’s always some reason they’ve got to pick on her, isn’t it? I knew she hadn’t gone to visit a friend. To tell the truth, I thought at first, China, she’s playing some trick on her brother and sister. I’ll tan her hide, I thought at first.”

 She was aware of the dangers to a woman of her size and age of flowing red and purple velvet, of ethnic beads  and the worst that Hampstead Bazaar could do. She would not, like most of Hanmouth’s women, be inspired by Dame Judi Dench on an Oscar night, and she dressed , as far as possible, in the black and white lines and corners of the fat wife of a Weimar architect.

“Child Pornography,” “Slightly Jewish,” “Dead in Childbirth” and “Shitface.”

“The thing I truly object to, Kitty said, “and I know this sounds trivial and I don’t care if it sounds a bit snobbish, but I do care about this. It’s that the whole world now thinks of Hanmouth as being this sort of awful council estate and nothing else, and Hanmouth people like this awful Heidi and Mickey people. Absolutely everything you read in the papers is about how they live in Hanmouth, and frankly, they don’t. They live on the Ruskin estate, where I’ve never been and I hope never to go anywhere near.”

“I saw a newspaper photographer in a boat in the middle of the estuary, taking photographs,” Sam said eagerly. “Out there in Brian Miller’s ferryboat. Taking a photograph of the church and the strand and the quay. That’ll turn up in the Sun as a photograph of Heidi’s home town, I promise you.”

“As if that family could live somewhere like this.”

“Or, really, more to the point, as if they would ever contrive a story like this if they did live on the Strand,” Miranda said. “One may be cynical, but one does think that moral attitudes and truthfulness and not having your children kidnapped for the sake of the exposure don’t go with deprivation. It’s material deprivation that starts all this off.”

“They’ve got dishwashers, Miranda,” Bill said. “They’re not examples of material deprivation . But you’re right. You don’t hear about children disappearing from Hanmouth proper, do you? It’s just bad education, ignorance, idleness and avarice.’

“And drugs,” put in Sam. Don’t forget the drugs.”

“Why do we say ‘the cockles of your heart’?” David said. “Nothing to do with whelks, I suppose.”
“Previously, gay life had seemed a merry series of cabinet reshuffles and rearrangements, in which everyone was single for a time, then paired off for a time. If you stood still with a welcoming smile on your face, sooner or later somebody would come over and sit on it.”

“It happened to some people, that obsession with throwing their clothes off at an age when it would be best to keep them on.”

“You need to start making an effort,” Richard said. “There’s a thing called the gay scene nowadays. It happens in large cities – London, Manchester, er, wherever.”

“… something very unusual, a chocolate-flavoured log of goats’ cheese. “Made by lesbians in Wales,” Sam had explained superfluously.”
Previously, gay life had seemed a merry series of cabinet reshuf­fles and rearrangements, in which everyone was single for a time, then paired off for a time. If you stood still with a welcoming smile on your face, sooner or later somebody would come over and sit on it.

“Previously, gay life had seemed a merry series of cabinet reshuffles and rearrangements, in which everyone was single for a time, then paired off for a time. If you stood still with a welcoming smile on your face, sooner or later somebody would come over and sit on it.”

“It happened to some people, that obsession with throwing their clothes off at an age when it would be best to keep them on.”

“You need to start making an effort,” Richard said. “There’s a thing called the gay scene nowadays. It happens in large cities – London, Manchester, er, wherever.”
“… something very unusual, a chocolate-flavoured log of goats’ cheese. “Made by lesbians in Wales,” Sam had explained superfluously.”

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Jumping off the Planet – David Jerrold

JOTP(Not discussed by the group but written in a personal capacity.)

Science fiction isn’t normally my thing but this book came highly recommended from someone whose judgement I trust (and our sister groups in Cardiff and London have read and discussed it.) so I thought I would give it a go. Once I got into it, I quite enjoyed it, though it got silly towards the end and my reading pace slowed down.

There are some perennial issues – world economic problems, dysfunctional families and a tug of wars between estranged parents and the effect that this has on the children. Currency speculators shift money around regardless of the effect it will have on people, some of whom will die of hunger or during war.

The father takes the children to a colony on another planet and there is a toy monkey that is a bit like those dolls that teenage girls look after from school – the ones who need feeding and changing.

The middle teen has a strange take on jazz, but then again it’s new to him: I didn’t know anything about historical jazz—which is nothing. like the stuff they call jazz now—so I listened to something called A Love’ Supreme. And I hated it. I didn’t get it at all. But I kept listening because I wanted to know What that guy meant by “so fucking subversive” that I kept listening and listening; even though all I really wanted to do was rip the headphones off and wash my head out. ….Knowing that the music, wasn’t about love for.. .a woman but love. for God. was interesting .-but it wasn’t the music. And knowing that this part of the music was really Coltrane reciting a psalm through the saxophone was interesting—but that wasn’t the music either. ….Jazz isn’t music. Jazz is what happens when the music disappears and all that’s left is the sound and the emotion connected to it. Jazz is a scream or a rant or a sigh. Or whatever else is inside, trying to get out. And when you listen to it like that, you don’t have to understand it. All you have to do is get it. And in the middle of the night, with my headphones clamped to my head, in the middle of a scorching saxophone riff that had to be about anger and love and frustration and hurt all wrapped into one gritty scream of sound, I got it—that sound was about how somebody felt and right now’ it was about how I felt. And I got it. And after that, whenever I wanted to get away from Mom or Dad, but especially whenever I wanted to get away from Mom and Dad, I went to the music and the music I went to was John Coltrane, and I’d listen with my hands holding the headphones tight to my ears until I heard the sound that eras me, and then I knew I was all right. I wasn’t alone. There was someone else who knew. Or who had known. And it was all right for a while. A little while, anyway.

The middle son (and narrator) shares the teenage male obsession with pubic hair.

Mention of a ‘beanstalk’ meant I kept thinking of Jack and the beanstalk.

Mention of planet Betelguise seems to have been in homage to Douglas Adams.

There is the unlikely climbing (and even swimming) through space at one point towards the end.

Does the earth rotate anti-clockwise? I though it was the other way round.

I had to look up ‘amortized’ = The paying off of debt with a fixed repayment schedule in regular instalments over a period of time. Consumers are most likely to encounter amortization with a mortgage or car loan; The spreading out of capital expenses for intangible assets over a specific period of time (usually over the asset’s useful life) for accounting and tax purposes.

‘Boogers’ is the American term for ‘bogeys’ and apparently they are important – they protect the lungs.

space elevator14 years after this book was published, I read on August 289th 2015 that a key element in this book was about to become reality: According to Thoth Technology Inc., the company that was awarded the patent, the U.S. patent allows for an elevator that would be 30 percent cheaper than the fuel required by a conventional rocket. Also, the system would be fully reusable, further reducing costs, the company said.

“Astronauts would ascend to 20 km by electrical elevator,” inventor Brendan Quine said in a statement. “From the top of the tower, space planes will launch in a single stage to orbit, returning to the top of the tower for refuelling and reflight.”

Quotations:

“Y’know, people say that kids are the hope of the future—that a baby is the human race’s way of insisting that the universe give us another chance. But I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like a baby is just another chance to screw things up even worse than before.

Not having- anything to do is a lot more tiring than having everything to do. But I think we were tired of each other. I know I was.

I knew what my ethics teacher would have said to that. People who negotiate loopholes for themselves are criminals in training. He said that most people see rules as some kind of burden that someone else makes them carry—like Mom or Dad but the rules are really agreements that we make with each other on how to behave so we can all get along. And when we don’t follow the rules, it’s like breaking a promise -everybody at once. Break enough rules and nobody will trust you anymore.

Parents think kids are just little programmable robots.

“Everything’s connected to everything else. If we don’t have any connections; we’re lost.

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Less Than Angels – Barbara Pym

LTA(We have not discussed this in the group but it was a ‘spin off’ from one of our meetings and this review is in a personal capacity.)

This, her fourth novel, moves away from the world of the church into the world of anthropologists. It’s based on her own experiences working at the African Institute in London. ‘After the war, I got a job at the International African Institute in London. I was mostly engaged in editorial work, smoothing out the written results of other people’s researches, but I learned more than that in the process. I learned how it was possible and even essential to cultivate an attitude of detachment towards life and people, and how the novelist could even do “field-work” as the anthropologist did. And I also met a great many people of a type I hadn’t met before. The result of all this was a novel called Less Than Angels, which is about anthropologists working at a research centre in London, and also the suburban background of Deirdre, one of the heroines, and her life with her mother and aunt. There’s a little church life in it too, so that it could be said to be a mixture of all the worlds I had experience of.  I felt in this novel that I was breaking new ground by venturing into the academic scene.’ –Barbara Pym, “Finding a Voice” (1978 BBC radio talk)

She uses her experience in her portraits of impecunious young students vying for study grants and the sometimes less than ethical way that handsome men inveigle money for their projects from susceptible widows.

Themes include the breakup of relationships and bereavement, (quoting a passage addressed to men in Jane Austen’s Persuasion—“we certainly do not forget you so soon as you forget us” — to show that for some women a life of passive heartbreak had not changed much,” young love and the ups and downs of everyday domestic life.

We also see how the post-war English society of the 1950s was still influenced by Edwardian values yet had been profoundly changed: “Two wars, motor cars, and newer and ever more frightful bombs being invented all the time” (Mark Penfold); a lack of servants (Rhoda Wellcome), and “women consider themselves our equals now… [although] men were once the stronger sex” (Digby Fox). The by which the English middle-classes maintained their imperial power, was also changing and not only in the way suggested by Mark, that in West Africa “the roar of the high-powered motor-car of the urbanized anthropologist” was more likely to be heard than the roar of wild beasts.

Anthropologists don’t need to go to Africa. They can observe a debutante ball, men’s clubs and suburban courtship practices: the fur cape and pearls of the upper-middle class lady, the umbrella and briefcase of the businessman, and the squire’s shooting-stick, likened to a chief’s regalia. Although Charles Burkhart claims that “She has made Africa come home to suburbia and found that they are the same”, Pym uses African culture to show how repressed English society is. The decline of empire might be a symbol for impotence and loss.

The genteel, polite, ladies tend not to mention sex. It is kept under wraps. Yet there is a fascination with uninhibited African sexuality as, in the final chapter, Tom’s sister, Josephine, supposes that Tom’s African carvings would be “very crude stuff… not the kind of thing one would want to have in one’s house,” Catherine agrees: “Some of them are positively rude!”. Cf. Minnie Foresight’s taking exception to an academic article (about tribal initiation ceremonies with an account of behaviour and a rough translation of songs which she found “most shocking;” she was “deeply disturbed” by the “unpleasant details”) as obscene.

Middle Englanders lack interest in other people’s lives, especially those in “darkest Africa”. Pym describes suburbia as a cosy, decorative place that stifles imagination, but she also indicates “the dreadful things in the world” that lie behind it. Alaric Lydgate says that, “life was very terrible whatever sort of front we might put on it, and only the eyes of the very young or the very old and wise could look on it with a clear untroubled gaze” Television and radio are used to drug the mind rather than to gain understanding of people not like oneself. However, newspapers are read. The two sensational news-items at the time were Mau Mau terror campaign (for political independence from Britain) in Kenya, and the trial of the serial killer, John Christie, who hid the bodies of his female victims around his house. His conviction led the change in legislation regarding the death penalty in Britain, because he was found guilty of a murder for which Timothy Evans had earlier been hanged after Christie gave evidence against him. Full details of the Mau Mau atrocities against women were concealed from the British public and Pym does not mention them. However, she does show Deirdre’s Aunt Rhoda, “in common with a good many people from all walks of life”, avidly reading about the murder of women whose bodies had been secreted in a London house. So English society is shown to be just as “primitive” and “uncivilised” as it considers African society to be.

At the beginning, Catherine Oliphant, a central character who writes romantic stories for magazines, ss sitting in a cafe speculating about the people sitting near her, wondering what their real stories are.

Tom is another mayor character, a brilliant anthropology graduate who gained a fellowship to do field work in Africa on kinship structures.

Catherine makes a (“catty?”) comment to Tom about how much his indifference has wounded her: “Your people wait for you. How soothing it will be to get away from all this complexity of personal relationships to the simplicity of a primitive tribe, whose only complications are in their kinship structure and rules of land tenure, which you can observe with the anthropologist’s calm detachment.”

Some see him as “a kind of Lawrence of Arabia figure —so very far from the truth”

‘I should have thought that one might have discerned the faintest glimmer of his genius by now.’

‘Certainly his conversation isn’t brilliant, perhaps even ours is a little better than his’, said Digby uncertainly. ‘And I thought the paper he read in the seminar last term – well – confused’, he added, plunging further into disloyalty. Mark took him up eagerly on this point and they went into a rather technical discussion at the end of which they had the satisfaction of proving, at least to themselves, that Tom, far from being brilliant, was in some ways positively stupid and not always even sound.

‘Almost a diffusionist’, said Mark, his eyes sparkling with malice.

‘Oh, come’, said Digby in a shocked tone. Feeling that they had perhaps gone a little too far, he changed the subject.

If Tom is the hare, Digby is the tortoise who sees himself as “worthy, painstaking and biding his time” and, as Professor Mainwaring assessed him, “very conscientious and will probably make an excellent husband and father”. Digby shares Pym’s own wit, summing up Tom as “detribalized” and cracks jokes with his fellow student, Mark, and who sings an air from La Bohême in their squalid student digs.

There are those who say that Pym drew on a female tradition of the genre of the Woman’s Novel enabling her to yoke male-dominated academic anthropology together with the popular female culture of dress-making and table-setting. Edwin Ardener said of her work that it was “far beyond our time” in its portrayal of the “strange unreliability that respected figures show in her novels,” and in its “perception of disturbing chasms beneath the social surface.” Although Pym’s work of the 1950s seemed decorous, it was obliquely a forerunner of the rebellious feminist writings of the 1960s’ Women’s Liberation Movement pioneered by radicals such as Germaine Greer and Margaret Atwood.

I had to look up ‘topee’ = a lightweight hat worn in tropical countries for protection from the sun. Not a word in the current OED.

Pym is said to have done her research into anglo-catholicism. It is odd, therefore, that she mentions an organ playing at an early Sunday morning Low Mass. Low Mass is, by definition, a said service with no music. And I doubt whether, even back in the 1950s, there would be as many as a hundred communicants.

I liked the statement about ladies, after lunch, who left the dishes as washing up ‘was not their custom.’

Quotations

She left the bathroom as she would wish to find it, folding her own towels and everyone else’s in a special way that pleased her. It worried her a little that Malcolm was not yet in, for he would spoil the symmetrical arrangement … Before going back to her own room, Rhoda went quietly downstairs to see if her sister had laid the breakfast satisfactorily. She saw that Mabel had made an effort, but there were one or two things missing, the marmalade spoon and the mats for the coffee; she put right these omissions and then returned quietly to her room. Deirdre’s hand still lay on Tom’s; their moussaka would be getting cold, Catherine thought, and then pulled herself up, horrified at the sardonic detachment with which she had been watching them… I’m not one of those excellent women*, who can just go home and eat a boiled egg and make a cup of tea and be very splendid, she thought, but how useful it would be if I were!

Catherine often wondered whether anthropologists became so absorbed in studying the ways of strange societies that they forgot what was usual in their own.

And so it came about that, like many other well meaning people, they worried not so much about the dreadful things themselves as about their own inability to worry about them.

When one came to consider it, what could be more primitive than the rigid ceremonial of launching a debutante on the marriage market?

Like so many clergymen he had of necessity acquired that easy confidence in dealing with unmarried middle-aged women which is not often granted to the layman

‘After all, life isn’t really so unpleasant as some writer make out, is it?’ she added hopefully.

‘No, perhaps not.  It’s comic and sad and indefinite – dull, sometimes, but seldom really tragic or deliriously happy, except when one’s very young.’

“…I’m writing a story about somebody who’s just come back from Africa. I’ve made him a big game hunter, that seems suitable for the type of people who will read it. Naturally I have to make him have thoughts about the country he’s been in, and I was wondering if they were too wildly improbable.”
“I’m afraid I should be no judge of that,” said Alaric. ”I shouldn’t like to say what thoughts might be in the mind of a big game hunter.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean that exactly. You see, I have him sitting in this West Kensington hotel, remembering the noise of the rain splashing down among the mangroves, or the laughing faces of the women bringing in the yams…But would the rain splash down among the mangroves, and would the women bring in the yams?”

Mark craned head round to read what she had been writing; it seemed be an article about how to give an ‘inexpensive’ cocktail party.

‘Yes, darling, “inexpensive” or cheap, really,’ said Catheri­ne brightly. ‘Don’t get the best French vermouth and put more and more ice with the drinks so that as time goes on people will be drinking coloured melted ice-water and they don’t even know! And if they suspect, then they’re horrid people and not the kind you’d want to have at your party anyway. Writing is such a comfort, isn’t it, that’s what people always say — it really does take you out of yourself. I sometimes feel it lets you more into yourself, though, and really the very worst part.’

“She wished she had a ‘nice book’, something that would take her out of herself, but the bookshelf  by her bed wasn’t very encouraging, and only made her think what very strange  books people gave as Confirmation presents. The only real book of devotion she had, suitably enough from her headmistress, told her that we are strangers and pilgrims here and must endure the heart’s banishment, and she felt that she knew that anyway”.

“A very curious sound, which it is impossible to reproduce here, then came from her. Has she been in the company of ordinary people, it might have been supposed that something had gone down the wrong way and that she was choking, but here nobody took any particular notice of her or Father Gemini when he cried excitedly, “No, no, it is this!” and proceeded to emit a sound which would have appeared to the initiated exactly the same as Miss Lydgate’s choking noise.”

“There are few experiences more boring or painful for a woman than an evening spent in the company of one man when she is longing to be with another, and that evening Bernard’s dullness seemed to have a positive quality about it so that it was almost a physical agony, like the dentist’s drill pressing on a sensitive tooth.”

“They were soon absorbed in the play, for it was about people like themselves, being an adaptation of a well-known stage success. After a while both the sisters realized they had seen it before, but neither could remember exactly how it ended. So life seemed to go round in a circle, with tables hurtling through the air.”

“Of course it’s alright for librarians to smell of drink.”

A thesis must be long. The object, you see, is to bore and stupefy the examiners to such an extent that they will have to accept it —only if a thesis is short enough to be read all through word for word is there any danger of failure..

“If we lamented the decay of the great civilizations of the past, he thought, should we not also regret the dreary leveling down of our own?”

“He often thought what a good thing it would be if the wearing of masks or animals’ heads could become customary for persons over a certain age. How restful social intercourse would be if the face did not have to assume any expression–the strained look of interest, the simulated delight or surprise, the anxious concern one didn’t really feel. ”

“Do they understand the principles of cooking as we know it?” asked Rhoda.
“Oh, yes, a good many of them do,” said Alaric. “In some very primitive societies, though, they would just fling the unskinned carcase on the fire and hope for the best.”
“Yes, like that film of the Australian aborigines we saw at the Anthropology Club,” said Deirdre. “They flung a kangaroo on the fire and cooked it like that.”
“Now who would like some potato salad?” said Rhoda, feeling that there was something a little unappetizing about the conversation. She had imagined that the presence of what she thought of as clever people would bring about some subtle change in the usual small talk. The sentences would be bright jugglers’ balls, spinning through the air and being deftly caught and thrown up again. But she saw now the conversation could also be compared to a series of incongruous objects, scrubbing-brushes, dish-clothes, knives, being flung or hurtling rather than spinning, which were sometimes not caught at all but fell to the ground with resounding thuds.

Catherine is thinking this after Tom’s aunt has come to visit her: The day was coming to its end, and although it had been tiring and upsetting it had at least been full and that, she supposed, was all to the good. Pain, amusement, surprise, resignation, were all woven together into a kind of fabric whose colour and texture she could hardly visualize as yet. Something with little lumps on it, she thought, knobs or knops as it said in the fashion magazines.

“…though life was sometimes too strong and raw and must be made palatable by fancy, as tough meat may be made tender by mincing”.

“…and secondly because it was helpful to missionaries and government officials to know as much as possible about the people they sought to evangelize or govern”.
“And so it came about that, like many other well-meaning people, they worried not so much about the dreadful things themselves as about their own inability to worry about them”.

“He often thought what a good thing it would be if the wearing of masks or animals’ heads could become customary for persons over a certain age. How restful social intercourse would be if the face did not have to assume any expression–the strained look of interest, the simulated delight or surprise, the anxious concern one didn’t really feel”.
“Miss Clovis was acting as secretary to the selection committee and enjoyed the work, which was congenial to her natural curiosity about people and her desire to arrange their lives for them”.
“The small things of life were often so much bigger than the great things, she decided, wondering how many writers and philosophers had said this before her, the trivial pleasures like cooking, one’s home, little poems especially sad ones, solitary walks, funny things seen and overheard”.
“Understanding somebody else’s filing system is just about as easy as really getting to know another human being” .

“Men appeared to be so unsubtle, but perhaps it was only by contrast with the tortuous delicacy of women…”.

“…having the power to grant her moments of happiness but being very stingy with them just now”.

“…and in the evening read her favourite depressing poets, Hardy, Matthew Arnold and the lesser Victorians…”.

“Oh, what cowards scholars are! When you think how poets and novelists rush in with their analyses of the human heart and mind and soul, of which they often have far less knowledge than darling Tom has of his tribe”.

“Her words seemed to ring out among the peacocks, making Catherine wonder if they often heard or witnessed the deeper passion. The gossipy office chatter, the dreary female conversation, the quiet furtive hand-holdings, would be more what they were accustomed to, she felt” .

“Tom left the room feeling rather sad. He had the impression that his uncle was a kind of prisoner, or a sacrifice laid before the altar of the television set which demanded a constant tribute of victims”.

“Digby, characteristically, took up a handful of pieces of the sky and began trying to fit them together, leaving the more interesting sections of gondolas, water and buildings to Mark and the girls”.

“ ‘Writing is such a comfort, isn’t it, that’s what people always say–it really does take you out of yourself. I sometimes feel it lets you more into yourself, though, and really the very worst part’”.

“But sometimes, she thought, grief was all one had to give them and even then one was conscious of the poverty of one’s feelings, as if there were some lack in oneself that prevented one from suffering as deeply, as splendidly almost, as people did in the works of sensitive female novelists”.

* the title of another of her novels

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